Christmas Letter 2024



2507 Briargrove Dr.
Austin, TX 78704
December, 2024

www.patandmeloakes.com

Dear Family and Friends,

We wish you all the joys of the season. In February, Beth and Eugene were here for the memorial service of our dear, long-time friend Barada Sarma—the father of Beth’s “bestest “friend since the 4th grade.  In spite of all the sadness, it was a great joy to see so many of the Sarma family and friends from all over the country.  Pat’s great-nephew, Scott Blatnik, was in Texas doing a spring internship in Corpus Christi and was able to visit us several times--and we got to see his dad Frank on his way down from Cleveland and his mom Shanti when she drove back to Cleveland with him. Scott was a big help for Mel organizing the attic after our plumbing disaster.  Disaster is probably too strong of a word, but we had to have the hot water replumbed through the attic—which meant clearing out the attic—have we mentioned that we are savers and that we have been in our home since 1967?  There was a lot of stuff (and we aren’t finished yet) to go through—clothes that Pat had made for the girls, old letters, lots of stuff from Pat’s days at Coral Gables High (now at a museum in Coral Gables)—so much—but it was a trip down memory lane.  We even sent some old Christmas cards (1970s) back to the original senders or their descendants.

In April, a special event came our way—the eclipse.  We were in the line of totality, so we sat in our chairs in late afternoon in the street with our neighbors.  The clouds parted, it got darker and darker, the birds stopped singing and the streetlights came on—amazing.

In May, we made an arduous 5-day trip to Northampton, MA, to see granddaughter Emily graduate with honors in English from Smith College on our 61st wedding anniversary.  We flew to Newark, Sarah drove up from D.C. (sadly, Joe had to work—thus not in the enclosed group pictures) and we three drove to Northampton.  Mardie was there and Pat’s sister, Nancy, and brother-in-law Doug drove in from Cortland, NY, and cousin, Linda Ronan and spouse, Beth Bidlack were able to come for part of the weekend.  Sarah drove us many hours back to Arlington, VA (Sarah had to work on Monday)—ther we enjoyed a brief visit with Debbie Appel-Knowlton (one of Pat’s former Sunday school students) who took the train down from NY.

In June, Beth and Eugene celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.  Beth and Eugene continue raking up the airline status as they continue their commute alternating between California and Iowa.   Beth especially relishes the opportunity to spend her summers and long winter breaks in California. They were delighted to celebrate their daughter Emily’s graduation from Smith College this past May and look forward to celebrating their son Ethan’s graduation from Stanford this May. Ethan has an internship with Apple Computer this summer.

Sarah and Joe have both had a challenging year, but things are starting to improve.  In late June, Sarah missed the last few basement stairs and the fall broke bones in both her feet.  While she narrowly avoided surgery, it was a long no-weight-bearing recovery period that took up the rest of the summer.  Luckily, sisters and friends filled the void of canceled trips and while summer looked very different than expected, there was lots of joy.  Several of Joe’s cases have refused to settle, so his work-life balance has been tilted heavily towards work.  Unfortunately, one of the cases was out of town, so he spent several weeks this summer in a hotel conference room in West Virginia.  Happily, now, though, PT is helping Sarah’s foot strength and Joe’s workload is getting more manageable.  They hope to be able to travel together and see family and friends much more often in the new year.

Mardie and Durham (currently in 7th grade) continue to live in San Francisco a few blocks from Durham’s dad. They’ve enjoyed seeing Beth, Eugene and Ethan much more often than in years past, and especially enjoy meeting up at a coffee house on the Stanford campus where Ethan performs at a regular improv jazz night. Durham continues to play the trumpet in the school band, but his real musical interest is now the piano, and of course he loves playing video games with his friends. This year, Mardie and Durham have enjoyed boxing, rock climbing and hosting dogs through a platform called Rover which gives Durham a way to earn some extra cash and leads them to explore different hiking trails on the weekends. Mardie has recently started dating a man she’s known for 20 years, and we enjoyed spending some time with them both this fall when they came to Texas for Mardie’s 30th Rice University college reunion. She is still working on her women’s health company and has started doing some consulting with other health care start-ups.  

Pat had not been feeling well for months and finally in late September was diagnosed with ischemic colitis (look it up—you don’t want it).  At the insistence of Pat’s gastroenterologist we went to the ER on a Sunday evening and on Tuesday Pat was transferred to the Heart Hospital where an amazing doctor, threading in through her right wrist, used angioplasty and stents to unblock two arteries—heart to stomach and heart to colon. She went home on Wednesday—and a week later she and Mel were on the plane to San Francisco for 2 weeks—a trip they had been afraid they would have to cancel.  They housesat at their friends the Richmonds’ home near Golden Gate Park where Pat worked to gain back strength.  It was a joy to see Mardie and Durham—he is now taller than Pat by several inches.   We also were able to see a cousin, Teresa Meikle, and Ethan and Eugene. A major reason to make the trip was to realize a longtime dream to go to Yosemite National Park.  Mardie and Durham and Pat and Mel made the 3-day trip, and it was amazing.  Pat kept pinching herself to see if she were really still alive!

Both Pat and Mel are staying busy. Pat is still writing the Personals column for the church newsletter and chairing the women’s church book club.  The church is in the process of exploring options for its building and property.  Pat does hours of PT every day trying to stay as strong as she can for as long as she can.  She and her sisters talk almost every night on the phone with brother Robert joining them occasionally.  Mel walks with “the girls” in Pat’s walking group 3 mornings a week—holding Pat’s hand when needed.  Mel helps run the men’s book club, is playing tennis as often as he can (usually 2 mornings a week). He continues to work on his various websites.  He is learning Spanish via Duo Lingo and is doing very well.  We host Cousins Zoom every other week—folks from several branches of the family from all over the country, juggling time zones, are regulars. We love sharing family stories, and old pictures.

We enjoyed a visit from three of Jorgito Antillon’s daughters and their children in June.  During the visit we were able to talk to Miriam and her daughter Guisella on Facetime.  Our ties to Guatemala were established many years ago, and both Jorge and Miriam are gone now, but we love staying in touch with the family.  As we get older, we have lost many dear friends and family members, but we are grateful for the many good times we have shared together.

Wishing you good health and peace in these difficult times.

Pat and Mel

2024 Gallery

5/18/24 Sarah, Beth, Mardie, Pat, Mel at Smith College
5/19/24 Sarah, Eugene, Emily, Beth, Mardie, Ethan, Smith College
10/12/24 Mardie, Mel, Pat and Durham at Yosemite, Half-Dome in background.
10/12/24 Mardie, Mel, Pat and Durham, Yosemite
10/28/24 Sarah and Joe in gardens of Tudor Place Historic House (Martha Washington's Family) in Georgetown, DC
12/14/24 Joe and Sarah, Colorado National Monument Park, Grand Junction, CO.
5/18/24 Pat and Mel 61st Anniversary, Yosemite